"But you promise it's okay? You promise not to hurt me? I've told you - I'm a Christian, we're not supposed to do this stuff, but I love you. I want to make you happy."
"I promise baby. I love you too, and you know I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it.."
"I know. I just.. I just don't want to get hurt. I don't want you to leave me."
"Kristy, you know I'd never do that. Now come on, before I go soft. You want to see me happy, right?"
She nodded, and her silver bracelet with an engraved "WWJD" bead between the chains jingled as she sat back down on the couch next to her boyfriend, Jamie, and began to undo his belt buckle. Kristy had always been a late bloomer - whether it be learning things at school, hitting puberty, or sucking off her first boyfriend because she loved him. Sometimes things like that just happen. And sometimes, couples will break up the very next day, because he can get better than that. Because you can't even see her face down there, so why not choose someone with skill? Because promising love and forever is irritating when you can do without the extra work. Oh, and because despite your needs, your desires, you still have some sort of conscience and you still feel sort of bad corrupting the most innocent girl you know.
By around 3:30PM the next afternoon, Kristy still wasn't out of bed. She laid there wondering what she did wrong, just as any other innocent girl would. An experienced girl, however, would know better and know she did nothing, and move on. Five weeks isn't a long time. Certainly not worth mourning over. In fact, five weeks opens up opportunities. Opportunities like Jamie's friends. All the wrong opportunities, that despite knowing "she doesn't know what she's doing" want to learn through first hand experiences. Suddenly, a cell phone starts dancing around the end table, causing Kristy to finally arise, at 3:37PM.
"Hello?"
"Hey Kristy? It's Kayla. I heard you and Jamie broke up."
"He lied. Kayla, he told me he loved me."
"Go figure. He probably only wanted you for sex. At least you weren't as stupid as I was."
"You had sex with him?"
"Yeah, you didn't know? But everyone knows you'd never do shit, no offense, so whatever. But, I called because I wanna help you get over him."
"He told me he was a virgin.."
"Kristy, forget about him. He's trash. Come to Tim's with me tonight. We'll have fun."
"Who's gonna be there?"
"Oh god, I don't know. Carl, Nick, Chris.. Coleman? I think is his last name? Then Katie, Lissa, Ash. Mark. I don't know, a bunch of people."
"So it's a party. Are people gonna be drinking?"
"Haha. Don't worry about it, just come. Actually, you don't have a choice. I'll be over at like, sevenish. And I've already talked to Carl and Nick and they said Jamie won't be there. So be ready, it'll be a good time. See ya."
Kristy wasn't a party girl. She wasn't a party goer. She had grown up watching and experiencing alcohol ruin her perfect little family. It was mommy, daddy, and the two perfect children, growing up in the midwest, with the perfect little white house with the perfect little white picket fence. They had a perfect little dog and ate dinner every night at six-o-clock, together, as a family. But this was all the past. When Mark wasn't in Salem, Oregon for college, he stayed in Bellevue with his girlfriend. One night after the shouts had turned to bruises, the perfect little daddy was stuck with a decision to make. He could either get help and keep his family, or live alone and keep his beer. Well, Kristy hasn't talked to her father in almost six years and can only assume he's still out west somewhere - she wouldn't know, being stuck in a Pennsylvanian suburb. She had told herself she wouldn't drink, but maybe that would have to change.
Maybe the way her father was, it didn't have to be like that. And she admit, sometimes it helped him calm down. Sometimes, it seemed like a relief. An answer. And her friends always seemed to have a good time. If there were any regrets, it didn't stop anyone. It didn't stop anything. Maybe she was simply denying herself of something harmless, for silly reasons. She could still be a good girl, because hey, even Jesus turned water into wine, right?
A few hours later, Kayla showed up. And before long they were all at Tim's house. There was music, there was a good amount of people, there was alcohol. There was some sort of card game going on in one of the other rooms, with a few people outside of the circle impatiently waiting "to set up their game of 'ruit." This was everything Kristy expected. She decided to sit in the living room with Kayla, Nick, Mike, and Kelly, to greet and be greeted. A few hellos, a few what's been going ons, and a few introductions. Mike, who was Tim's best friend, had been over nearly all day and though only sevenish, he was already far beyond gone.
"Dude, I've been drinking since like, two. And we made a ton of jello shots, if any of you ladies would like. There's orange and red and, they taste, like good, and it'll only take a few to get you drunk. And then we're all good. Haaa."
Kristy, a rather large fan of jello, was quite intrigued.
"Jello shots?"
"Oh yeah. They're great. But if you don't drink.. well, I can show you a jello shot."
"What does that even mean?"
"It means, you should get down on your knees and I'll show you a jello shot."
Reminded only of Jamie, Kristy ran off into the kitchen, followed by Kayla, leaving behind a very confused Mike. A typical innocent girl would not run away, but would tell Mike that he was rude. However, despite the crude comment, Mike was the innocent one. Because nobody would expect Kristy to do something like that. Nobody would expect Kristy to be here. And besides, he was past the point of drunk hours ago; any offense was not his fault.
Kayla decided the best way to help Kristy now was to talk to Jamie herself. She got out her phone.
"Jamie? It's Kayla. I'm with Kristy right now. And fuck you. Why did you have to tell her you loved her?"
"What? I did love her. Until her dome sucked. Then I didn't love her anymore."
"Jamie, you're such an asshole. You wouldn't know love if it fucked you."
And the conversation ended abruptly, and Jamie wondered if that was a reminder. Or maybe an accusation. Either way, until one of the girls had more practice and could be better, but not enough practice that he would be accused of "doing a bunch of sluts", he didn't need them and despite what Kayla wanted in the past and what Kristy wants now, they didn't need him either.
Carl met the girls in the kitchen and offered to play bartender. A cup of anything. Something that'll get me fucked up, and fast. And no, Kristy never drank before, but she was over that. She was ready for a change, she needed that change, and something inside of her hoped that she wouldn't remember that change in the morning. She lives in a generation without morals and despite how strong you are, despite what you believe, you'll cave in some day, at some point. And it might be the wrong day, and it might be the wrong point, and you might get yourself into something you don't want to ever be around, but it's too late. It might be a slow descent, it might be too fast, and however it happens, it happens and that's all there is to it. You'll lose your sense of right and wrong, or maybe just start to ignore it. Maybe your life will turn around and maybe you'll want nothing more than to go back to how things were. But there's a line that you cross that maybe you can reach again, but you can never get back over. Your old interests will bore you and your new interests never would have crossed your mind before. All that is in the past now. Innocence lost; there's no way back. You'll see too much, you'll feel too much, you'll do too much. You'll want too much and forget what you need. And no, no one ever regrets these changes. Just every now and then, you remember how things used to be, and you don't want to change anything now, but sometimes, every now and then, you miss it. But you move on because ten years, fifteen years, twenty years - however long it takes - isn't worth mourning over, and any experienced person knows that.
"I promise baby. I love you too, and you know I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it.."
"I know. I just.. I just don't want to get hurt. I don't want you to leave me."
"Kristy, you know I'd never do that. Now come on, before I go soft. You want to see me happy, right?"
She nodded, and her silver bracelet with an engraved "WWJD" bead between the chains jingled as she sat back down on the couch next to her boyfriend, Jamie, and began to undo his belt buckle. Kristy had always been a late bloomer - whether it be learning things at school, hitting puberty, or sucking off her first boyfriend because she loved him. Sometimes things like that just happen. And sometimes, couples will break up the very next day, because he can get better than that. Because you can't even see her face down there, so why not choose someone with skill? Because promising love and forever is irritating when you can do without the extra work. Oh, and because despite your needs, your desires, you still have some sort of conscience and you still feel sort of bad corrupting the most innocent girl you know.
By around 3:30PM the next afternoon, Kristy still wasn't out of bed. She laid there wondering what she did wrong, just as any other innocent girl would. An experienced girl, however, would know better and know she did nothing, and move on. Five weeks isn't a long time. Certainly not worth mourning over. In fact, five weeks opens up opportunities. Opportunities like Jamie's friends. All the wrong opportunities, that despite knowing "she doesn't know what she's doing" want to learn through first hand experiences. Suddenly, a cell phone starts dancing around the end table, causing Kristy to finally arise, at 3:37PM.
"Hello?"
"Hey Kristy? It's Kayla. I heard you and Jamie broke up."
"He lied. Kayla, he told me he loved me."
"Go figure. He probably only wanted you for sex. At least you weren't as stupid as I was."
"You had sex with him?"
"Yeah, you didn't know? But everyone knows you'd never do shit, no offense, so whatever. But, I called because I wanna help you get over him."
"He told me he was a virgin.."
"Kristy, forget about him. He's trash. Come to Tim's with me tonight. We'll have fun."
"Who's gonna be there?"
"Oh god, I don't know. Carl, Nick, Chris.. Coleman? I think is his last name? Then Katie, Lissa, Ash. Mark. I don't know, a bunch of people."
"So it's a party. Are people gonna be drinking?"
"Haha. Don't worry about it, just come. Actually, you don't have a choice. I'll be over at like, sevenish. And I've already talked to Carl and Nick and they said Jamie won't be there. So be ready, it'll be a good time. See ya."
Kristy wasn't a party girl. She wasn't a party goer. She had grown up watching and experiencing alcohol ruin her perfect little family. It was mommy, daddy, and the two perfect children, growing up in the midwest, with the perfect little white house with the perfect little white picket fence. They had a perfect little dog and ate dinner every night at six-o-clock, together, as a family. But this was all the past. When Mark wasn't in Salem, Oregon for college, he stayed in Bellevue with his girlfriend. One night after the shouts had turned to bruises, the perfect little daddy was stuck with a decision to make. He could either get help and keep his family, or live alone and keep his beer. Well, Kristy hasn't talked to her father in almost six years and can only assume he's still out west somewhere - she wouldn't know, being stuck in a Pennsylvanian suburb. She had told herself she wouldn't drink, but maybe that would have to change.
Maybe the way her father was, it didn't have to be like that. And she admit, sometimes it helped him calm down. Sometimes, it seemed like a relief. An answer. And her friends always seemed to have a good time. If there were any regrets, it didn't stop anyone. It didn't stop anything. Maybe she was simply denying herself of something harmless, for silly reasons. She could still be a good girl, because hey, even Jesus turned water into wine, right?
A few hours later, Kayla showed up. And before long they were all at Tim's house. There was music, there was a good amount of people, there was alcohol. There was some sort of card game going on in one of the other rooms, with a few people outside of the circle impatiently waiting "to set up their game of 'ruit." This was everything Kristy expected. She decided to sit in the living room with Kayla, Nick, Mike, and Kelly, to greet and be greeted. A few hellos, a few what's been going ons, and a few introductions. Mike, who was Tim's best friend, had been over nearly all day and though only sevenish, he was already far beyond gone.
"Dude, I've been drinking since like, two. And we made a ton of jello shots, if any of you ladies would like. There's orange and red and, they taste, like good, and it'll only take a few to get you drunk. And then we're all good. Haaa."
Kristy, a rather large fan of jello, was quite intrigued.
"Jello shots?"
"Oh yeah. They're great. But if you don't drink.. well, I can show you a jello shot."
"What does that even mean?"
"It means, you should get down on your knees and I'll show you a jello shot."
Reminded only of Jamie, Kristy ran off into the kitchen, followed by Kayla, leaving behind a very confused Mike. A typical innocent girl would not run away, but would tell Mike that he was rude. However, despite the crude comment, Mike was the innocent one. Because nobody would expect Kristy to do something like that. Nobody would expect Kristy to be here. And besides, he was past the point of drunk hours ago; any offense was not his fault.
Kayla decided the best way to help Kristy now was to talk to Jamie herself. She got out her phone.
"Jamie? It's Kayla. I'm with Kristy right now. And fuck you. Why did you have to tell her you loved her?"
"What? I did love her. Until her dome sucked. Then I didn't love her anymore."
"Jamie, you're such an asshole. You wouldn't know love if it fucked you."
And the conversation ended abruptly, and Jamie wondered if that was a reminder. Or maybe an accusation. Either way, until one of the girls had more practice and could be better, but not enough practice that he would be accused of "doing a bunch of sluts", he didn't need them and despite what Kayla wanted in the past and what Kristy wants now, they didn't need him either.
Carl met the girls in the kitchen and offered to play bartender. A cup of anything. Something that'll get me fucked up, and fast. And no, Kristy never drank before, but she was over that. She was ready for a change, she needed that change, and something inside of her hoped that she wouldn't remember that change in the morning. She lives in a generation without morals and despite how strong you are, despite what you believe, you'll cave in some day, at some point. And it might be the wrong day, and it might be the wrong point, and you might get yourself into something you don't want to ever be around, but it's too late. It might be a slow descent, it might be too fast, and however it happens, it happens and that's all there is to it. You'll lose your sense of right and wrong, or maybe just start to ignore it. Maybe your life will turn around and maybe you'll want nothing more than to go back to how things were. But there's a line that you cross that maybe you can reach again, but you can never get back over. Your old interests will bore you and your new interests never would have crossed your mind before. All that is in the past now. Innocence lost; there's no way back. You'll see too much, you'll feel too much, you'll do too much. You'll want too much and forget what you need. And no, no one ever regrets these changes. Just every now and then, you remember how things used to be, and you don't want to change anything now, but sometimes, every now and then, you miss it. But you move on because ten years, fifteen years, twenty years - however long it takes - isn't worth mourning over, and any experienced person knows that.
