Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Add Me to Your Top Friends!

The following is a transcript of a conversation I overheard, explaining quite nicely why I hate everyone.

"Dude, so are we going to Kat's tonight?"
"Why would we be going to Kat's? I don't even know her."
"Because guy, she's having a sick party! With like, two or three 30s of PBR. The Captain's gonna be there. Oh and good ole Maryjane might be stopping by!"
"What? Who cares?"
"C'mon dude! It's a party!"
"Dude! First of all, we don't know them. Second of all, I don't party. Third of all, stealing beers from your dad's fridge does not make you a badass, or a drinker. And you don't even smoke."
"So what, guy? I've been friends with Kat on Facebook since I got the thing, and Kelly and Ari just added me the other day. They're all BFF and they'd all let me come."
"Like I said, you don't even drink or smoke. And you're not friends."
"But if we go, I bet I'd be added to their top friends, if you know what I mean."
"No, I don't know what you mean. I have no idea what you mean. And if that's supposed to be some kinda pun, or innuendo, about how you're going to 'get with them' ... I don't even want to talk to you anymore."
"Nah c'mon man. What do you think girls do at parties?"
"Well, they don't hook up with people like you. They don't let people like you come. Who do you think you are, that guy in Superbad?"
"You know what? I don't care what you say. I'm leaving Kat a comment, and ten bucks says she'll let me come."
"Deal."
"What? No, I don't mean that. No money. I mean, I bet she'll let me come. And if, no, WHEN, when I go.. you're not coming with me. And I'm gonna get so trashed man. Just you wait. Come tomorrow, I'll be number one on Kat's top friends. Aw yeah."

And While We're on the Subject, What Does Love Have to do with It?

Everything.