You see, I've always been an advocater of the internet. I find it rather incredible that when my insomnia kicks in and I look over at the clock and see that it's 3:44a.m. .. I don't have to find another insomniac to talk to. In fact, all I have to do is log onto an internet forum, or in this case, the newest networking website. I can find people all over - normal people, sane people, people who work their 9-5s and sleep their 11-7s - and they're all awake and want to talk. Sure, they're on the other side of the world, but that makes it even more interesting. When my real life friends start hearing the words "bloody" "mate" and "ace," when we're together and I start asking for a "coldie," they all just kind of assume that I'm going crazy. I tell them no, not crazy - it's Australian!
Anyway, the other night, er, morning, I couldn't sleep. I'm sort of talking to my friend Becky, but since she's only on the other coast, she's planning on going to bed soon. So I'm lurking around, trying to find someone to talk to.. and as if God wants to keep me occupied, I have a new friend request that shows up once Becky signs off. "Elizabeth [last name here]" wants to be your friend." I think, sure Elizabeth, I'd love to be your friend. So I hit "accept" and check her profile. Oddly enough, she's from my area. The next thing I know, I have a new message. It's from her.
"hey i lik your profiel picture. you're pretty cute . are you single??"
This probably should have been a sign for me, looking back on it now. You see, my profile.. well, it asks what you're looking for through this site. The default, in order, says "A Relationship, Friendship, People to Date." Considering I'm not in a relationship, I let that stay. I fall into the trap, telling her that she's pretty too and that yes, I am single. We make the same small talk normal people do when meeting in person and we seem to be hitting it off. I figure, hey, she lives in the next town over.. maybe we can be friends IRL. Er, in real life. Sorry. So I ask her to meet me at Starbucks tomorrow around 4:30-5. This is a few days later, by the way. She loves the idea. We go.
I show up around 4:45 and walk over to order a coffee. I'm standing in line, and all of a sudden someone's grabbing me. I turn around and this chick kisses me. WHOA WHOA WHOA. Who are you and what are you doing!? I ask. The dude working at Starbucks seems pretty intrigued, but he goes ahead and starts making my coffee anyway.
"It's Elizabeth!"
"Well what are you doing?"
"Kissing you? No one I ever date makes the first move."
And then I realize where I had gone wrong. Yes, I am single. But more-so yes, I'm straight. I'm looking for friendship, not a relationship, not a person to date. Just someone to talk to when everyone else is asleep. Which in hindsight, I guess that sounds pretty selfish. A friend when no other friends are around. But I guess that's always been the case, because when am I gonna see these people on the other side of the world? Back to my story. I mess up. Before telling her anything about me not wanting to date her, I tell her sorry, I didn't recognize you. You don't really look like your profile picture. She sort of shies her head away and mumbles out an "oh. That's not the first time I've heard that.." and she sits down. I follow her with my eyes, and the table she's at has an empty plate on it and two cups; one empty, the other on its way there. I get a little creeped out and wonder how long she's been here. The guy hands me my coffee, whispers "good luck" and I sit down.
"So.. hi Elizabeth."
"Hi."
"How long have you been here?"
"About 48 minutes. But who's counting right? Ha ha."
"Oh.. I'm sorry you've been here so long."
And then there's that awkward pause, which on the internet, you can just assume that they're busy and didn't get the message right away. I don't remember the last time I've met someone in person. But these are the 2000s. It's the twenty-first century. Why do I have to meet anyone in person? Either way, I try to break the silence by telling her that I like her shoes. And you know what she says to me? "They're not shoes. They're boots." What do you say to that? You can only imagine how the rest of the evening went. Foolishly, when I get back home, I message her, telling her that it was "pleasant" to meet her and sorry if she misunderstood everything and thought this was a date and maybe we should just stick to being e-friends. Well, not only did she not respond, but she deleted me from her friends list. So, I get it. I'm still an advocater of the internet, but now I know.. real life's not for everyone.
Anyway, the other night, er, morning, I couldn't sleep. I'm sort of talking to my friend Becky, but since she's only on the other coast, she's planning on going to bed soon. So I'm lurking around, trying to find someone to talk to.. and as if God wants to keep me occupied, I have a new friend request that shows up once Becky signs off. "Elizabeth [last name here]" wants to be your friend." I think, sure Elizabeth, I'd love to be your friend. So I hit "accept" and check her profile. Oddly enough, she's from my area. The next thing I know, I have a new message. It's from her.
"hey i lik your profiel picture. you're pretty cute . are you single??"
This probably should have been a sign for me, looking back on it now. You see, my profile.. well, it asks what you're looking for through this site. The default, in order, says "A Relationship, Friendship, People to Date." Considering I'm not in a relationship, I let that stay. I fall into the trap, telling her that she's pretty too and that yes, I am single. We make the same small talk normal people do when meeting in person and we seem to be hitting it off. I figure, hey, she lives in the next town over.. maybe we can be friends IRL. Er, in real life. Sorry. So I ask her to meet me at Starbucks tomorrow around 4:30-5. This is a few days later, by the way. She loves the idea. We go.
I show up around 4:45 and walk over to order a coffee. I'm standing in line, and all of a sudden someone's grabbing me. I turn around and this chick kisses me. WHOA WHOA WHOA. Who are you and what are you doing!? I ask. The dude working at Starbucks seems pretty intrigued, but he goes ahead and starts making my coffee anyway.
"It's Elizabeth!"
"Well what are you doing?"
"Kissing you? No one I ever date makes the first move."
And then I realize where I had gone wrong. Yes, I am single. But more-so yes, I'm straight. I'm looking for friendship, not a relationship, not a person to date. Just someone to talk to when everyone else is asleep. Which in hindsight, I guess that sounds pretty selfish. A friend when no other friends are around. But I guess that's always been the case, because when am I gonna see these people on the other side of the world? Back to my story. I mess up. Before telling her anything about me not wanting to date her, I tell her sorry, I didn't recognize you. You don't really look like your profile picture. She sort of shies her head away and mumbles out an "oh. That's not the first time I've heard that.." and she sits down. I follow her with my eyes, and the table she's at has an empty plate on it and two cups; one empty, the other on its way there. I get a little creeped out and wonder how long she's been here. The guy hands me my coffee, whispers "good luck" and I sit down.
"So.. hi Elizabeth."
"Hi."
"How long have you been here?"
"About 48 minutes. But who's counting right? Ha ha."
"Oh.. I'm sorry you've been here so long."
And then there's that awkward pause, which on the internet, you can just assume that they're busy and didn't get the message right away. I don't remember the last time I've met someone in person. But these are the 2000s. It's the twenty-first century. Why do I have to meet anyone in person? Either way, I try to break the silence by telling her that I like her shoes. And you know what she says to me? "They're not shoes. They're boots." What do you say to that? You can only imagine how the rest of the evening went. Foolishly, when I get back home, I message her, telling her that it was "pleasant" to meet her and sorry if she misunderstood everything and thought this was a date and maybe we should just stick to being e-friends. Well, not only did she not respond, but she deleted me from her friends list. So, I get it. I'm still an advocater of the internet, but now I know.. real life's not for everyone.
